桜 & 恋

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

'clear my name' justice BAO!

rece`ntly had been receipting 'piercing aura' frm these bunch of gals.. i mean, it felt so cold and uncomfortable as i brushed pass them.. i guessed i know e reasons why.. probably they thought im an arrogant arse, as in e past .. i jux simply walk swiftly away w/o words of 'hi', as i walk pass them(>5 times).. well e fact is tt im shy, i can t reall y have eye contact with gals (especially those really pretty 1) ! got once i recalled, when 1 of them smiled at me i jux simply smile back(but w8 my eyes are looking some where, u know looking up e flight of stairs), tt will be enough to label me as an arrogant arse(cox it seem unsincere) i guess.. lol. though i didnt mean to.. am i oversensitive?

another things bout me is tt, i only can talk to lady who initiate a conversation with me.. i can t really strike a communication with lady rnd my age(unless u r talking bout projects school works and stuff).. however i can communicate rather effectively with middle age woman , wif granny for some reason s of sought.

this shyness hab been a thumbling block in my life... i always tel l myself to overcome it,but t o ano it due to low self esteem, genetic(LOL), psychology @__@ .. well i firgure it out someday.. may tt someday draw near.. and place a full-stop in my shyness !

Sunday, June 25, 2006

2 faces of lost

have u all ever felt lost.. having thoughts like ' why am i here?' ,'what my purpose here?' i sometime does have this kind of thought while walking a long sketch of road down my house..

it was then when i attend this service.. this pastor once said ' our hearts are created with a hole, no matter how much we achived this hole cant be filled, til is filled by HIS love' in a way man will never be satisfy with his success(e satifiscations r short term) , cox there are always other 'success' for us to succed in ya?(they tried all ways to mend this very hole).. however this hole can be filled permently by HIM.

all this hole is down to insercurity like mel said.. . insercurity within us human leads to creation of religion. man belived these religions can relived this hole within them. but which are REAL(i mean who care)? to me all religions are alright,have e same purpose , in a way , they are meant to fill this hole , teach us righteous things etc. it just tt diff religion believe in diff supernatural tt all. this insercurity is e hole i guess..

unfortunately, diff religions result in conflict as seen in history(don wish to elaborate). it is the pride i guess.. the pride in thier religion and within human.. pride within us make us wanted to belive waht we had believe is right and others are wrong ( i guess) ,, didnt religion teaches bout pride?
a free thinker now..

but i wanted to talk bout lost is actually i lost my ear piece =.= tt was yesterday, e opend ear piece was inside this plastic(which was hung on my bicycle handle), u c iwas cycling back home.. i heard this 'zezeze' sound as e plastic rub against e wheels.. didnt borther =@ .. so when i reach home.. guess what a hole in e plastic.. e neglection of e zeze sound cost me tt.. what worse was tt , i bought a 17 bucks de. when i actually wanted to bought e $8 one.. well T__T

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

1930-19_ _ promise

he knew he reaching e end of his timeline soon
steps in front of him are limited
he tried walking backward every morning
so that he may stay here on mother earth a little longer
just a little longer(11 fed)

however that day came, he was laying on e tattered bed
barely able to open his eyes
arms, legs of his wont as light as before
he was bedridden...
his wife was there with him, accompany him for his last moment of life
they were having their last dinner

'what is your last wish fred?'

'i ever thought of what shld i be doing before i left for paradise?'
listening to best music here?
travel round e world, seeing all the manificant scenery?
tasting all e delicacies here?

but now he realised that he actually had done all these in his life
he replied
the best music - e wholeheartedly nagging of you darl
the best food- e steam fish(he was eating now) that you had just learnt to made
the best scence- seeing his family laughing together

'God has given me all these
im satisfied, im willing to leave now for heaven w/o regret'
he thought

'you cant leave me now'
'remember e promise u made ,to spend every valentine with me'
her eyes were watery, red, bloted then

'im sorry dear' he could barely spoke
' i will nvr break my promise'
by then e cancerous cells have occupy his lung
he slept quitely with a smile

14 fed ,
she receive a bouqent of flowers form a nearby florist
its was her favourite lilly..
e attach letter wrote
'by the time u read this, i will already be heaven, i always will remember the promise that
i had pact with u- to spend every valentine with u,
thought i may not be there
my soul will always be.'
p.s. the flowers will come every valentine , until u failed to open e door and receive them

with love

ideas frm some poems chinese drama
the whole chunck here abit messy but hope u all understand it @____@
e whole chunk does not flow, perhaps m rushing finishing it@_____________@

Monday, June 19, 2006


well tt was like 2 weeks ago since e first outbreak... we started quralling over dog shyt .. yup DOG SHIT if u didnt get me.. was watching singapore idol then.. doogy poo was on e paper and i don bother to clear it up cox i didnt wan to miss e show or maybe i am lazy(more probably e latter). =@ thgen jux so happen at 9 e show ended and was goin to clear e poo(probably) , he came back home.. he immediately say "y i didnt clear e shyt.. lazy u.. black hearted(if i recalled correctly)". e previous event(e lobster 1) i took on e defensive way i reason with him, no avail.. now i took on offensive way, i replied sacarstically "well i didnt see e poo" etc all e bullshyt excuses, of course it turn out worse than e defensive way.. maybe nxt time i shall remmain quiet ...ah well enough of all these..