桜 & 恋

Thursday, March 13, 2008

THe class-my hopeless hope-----things aren't clarify that leads to misunderstanding, we keep assuming, guessing leading to mistrust

Since we’d come to the end of poly education, I thought all the misunderstandings should be cleared and awaits revelation.

I start off with myself.

I believed whenever an epidermal ‘event’ happened in the class that was linked to Dr. Ong; 3/4 of the class will start suspecting me as the accomplice. It no wonders that they suspected me because of my ‘close relationship’ with him.

Yes, I admit I do try to ‘por’ him during year 1-2. During his lessons, I will always come up with ‘good’ questions to get his attention and stuffs (However, more of it is the fact that I found his lesson interesting that stimulate me to ask those questions, believe it or not up to you).

It’s natural that the 2 of us became close, since majority of the class see him as some monster or what not unlike me (even though i know all the politics revolving round him). So I had the special ‘privilege’ (I believed some had too) to sit in his office and chat with him. Now that’s when the missiles start locking at me. They start suspecting me of revealing information to him.

Yes I admit I did, but I didn’t felt any of the info I released does any harm, as it all drawn down to concerning of the class, though there is some gossiping too. Most of the info I released, is an answer to his queries. Some includes

1) ‘Is the class making fun of Alex and Alexstair as gay’
-‘Yea, but is for fun one la’

2)’ Is soo chin still very quiet in class’
-‘No, the class had start to interact well with him’

3)’ Zai wei seems not to interacting with the Malays’
-“O_O, I didn’t know that’ (But I believed now is alright)

4)’That Jeremy is jiao liao bee’
-“O_O, no comment’

5)’I’d asked Shaz to guides the rest of the Malays in improving their results’
-‘O_O, that good’

Gossiping include
1) ‘Pok Siang, top student always kena bully by Wei Ming’s big bro’

2) ‘Who having BGF’
-‘oh, alex and shuan, think that’s all’

3)’Of all the girls in your class, I think Pei Shan is the most ‘quai’ girl
-‘yea, I think so’

4)’That ZW is the ‘top grandson’ that why he is well pampered’

5)’Ruben got GF anot, he such a nice guy’
-‘he didn’t have any atm’

6)’You have?’

Sometime he praise me

’I think you think very different from the rest of class as in out of the box, if you study hard sure can go up one’

I think the only questions I’d asked him during those talks is his ‘Feng Sui’ thingy on his desk, from a crab la (to saim bad luck) to a mini water fall.

So the list can go on, but all are non-related to politics and stuffs.

Yea I know the fact that I’m defending myself right now will make me a more prominent suspect, but if that the case so be it~

Having said so, they said there 1 undercover in our class. If you’d asked me who I suspect (note: I not stirring any uproar or what not, I just being frank), I’ll said definitely had to be 1 of those in –in-house- with jeremy as exception~

The first from in-hse comes to my mind is Ruben. Yes the 2 of us had been hanging pretty well together but still~
’Sorry Ruben, I just felt is you, since you always around pointing arrows at me that leads me to think that you are using me as a smokescreen or what not’ Sorry that what I thought~

Come to think of it, there may just jolly well be no ‘so called undercover’. Perhaps someone comes up with it to stir some uproar, you know who you are.

Throughout the entire poly life, I only felt that only 3 are really friend- Alexstair, YL and SC- follows by the malay gang and ruben(contradictions?). I must really thank YL for being patient enough to guide me when I kept asking him rhetorical questions and stuffs.

Being frank I also wanna talk abot Shuan.
Yea Shuan, you are the so-called Mr Nice Guy but I just felt that you are a bit too fake, changes your attitude like the wind. You can be nice to someone at one moment but see him as enemy behind his back, that what I’d observed~ Sorry for making this statement, I just being frank, or rather is my personal thought. talking bout shaun reminds me of one of his blog post

@ shuan
--- I was that anonymous who commented in your blog----

then come s su hua. i was like whats with that attitude towards WL? maybe i dont know what happens btw u 2~

The class had bonded pretty well for the first 2 years. Then 3rd year only seems well on the surface. I believed is those tons of misunderstanding that result in it and I doubt if they will come up and settle it.

I know things that are long buried, is pointless to dig it out again but I thought is better to dig it out and settle

Some of the questions I still like to know includes
’ What happen on that Chalet, btw sharz, alex and WL’
‘What’s up with the ignoring WL’ ( I smell jealously)
‘The recent signing scandal’
‘Should there really be a undercover, come up whoever you are’

Among all these, there’s 1 event which I really shake head
-there this OC project with Gowri, Alex’
Alex asked me to double team and asked Gowri to assign this tougher question(giving reasons that she is the slackest)
**I was reluctant, who in the world with common sense gives the toughest to the slackest, and is just not right, 2 boys against 1 girl)
Then we approached Gowri, and guess what Alex said in front of me and her?
‘Lets asked KJ to do this tougher part’
**I was speechless, and that OC project I admit I gave my best but still screwed up,zz**

We are adults now, is only sensible that we see face to face and settle it. For those who had the guts to do dirty thing should had the gut to admit it (there’s nothing to lose since the poly had long ended). We should sit down in kopitiam and talk about all those misunderstanding and settle it, but doubt if everyone will give this a chance.

it is the fact that things aren't clarify that leads to misunderstanding, we keep assuming, guessing leading to more mistrust among us~

like i said, i'd nothing to lose that i start making all these statement, worst come to worst will be seeing those black faces on graduation day. . . on the cont-arty if all settle and we laugh back at those stupid day, we can graduate as a class~

that my hopeless hope.

takre care
桜 & 恋
darn its going to rain, there goes my swim~

the above names i wait for ur response if u have 1~

i stress again i nt declaring war or wat not, jux clarify & speaking my mind of which i hadnt a chance til now that i decided~

writing this post may jolly well . ..

well i rather have u hating me then forcing a smile~

YUI- Tomorrow Way

i loved this song lot!

'Shiranai machi ni kakurete mitemo
Mado goshi ni tada ima wo omou'

Even when I try to hide in an unfamiliar town
I just think about the present going on outside my window

'Tomorrow's way of my life kowagari dakedo
Hikikaesenai michi ni tatteru'

I’m scared of tomorrow’s way of my life
But I’m standing in a path I can’t go back down



  • Hmmm.. Life is full of contradictions.. I have heard about the undercover and there is a possibility there is none but just to create an uproar.. To be frank, I indeed thought it was you, the undercover.. But thanks to this recent blog of yours, i doubt its you..I agree that you ask rhetorical questions but all for a good cause.. I remember you asking questions from dr ong or other lecturers and i thank you for that because I gained from there as well.. I would sometimes stay with you after tutorial to clarify and ask questions as well.. This recent blog of yours has opened yet another eye in a sense understanding other people's character such as your experience with some of our classmates back in year 1 and 2.. Well i believe you will have to be prepared for some serious bombardment by our classmates for posting such a post.. There will be tend to be disagreements, but im sure your conscience is clear.. It is true that our class is more bonded in our junior years but with misunderstandings, comes hatred and with hatred our class simply disintegrates to say so myself.. I believe now that we have graduate, we each have our own paths to choose but one main thing of course is the maturity level that we have to adhere.. We are no longer students and might be considered mature adults ready for the workforce.. I believe that this hope of yours is not hopeless.. It can be performed but of course with the agreement of other parties.. Knowing that you have a hope for this particular class is good enough but take note that what makes this hope of yours hopeless is not you but the the misunderstandings of other parties.. I believe that this post of yours would receive lots of comments.. Oh yes.. I believe some of your sec friends would post comments as well but i hope that they wont put such rude or impolite comments as they themselves do not know and understand these situations.. Last but not least, Im glad that im one of ur party of friends (malay gang).. I thank you for that.. Hope to chat with you soon.. :)

    P.S. Congrats on your examination results!

    By Anonymous shaz, At 10:56 PM  

  • 'Rude or impolite comments'... my, i CERTAINLY do take that as an attack... But I digress... Two things to be said; Be prepared, Kai-kun... and the opposite of love is not hatred, but apathy.

    By Blogger Kurier der Verzweiflung, At 2:25 AM  

  • @ shaz

    I thank q for ur trust as a friend~

    yea i already came across some of those bombs, perhaps things long buried shldnt re-surface~

    diff ppl diff POV- 'to each his own' as what Kurier der Verzweiflung once told me-

    yea some event i may not be involved and is none of my business, perhaps im kapo~ the fact tt e rest didnt know, comes assumptions which bring misunderstanding~

    By Blogger kai/kaispiral, At 9:44 AM  

  • o0 what is TOP GRANDSON? anyone help?
    pampered? zz..
    not active is a better word..anyway he dun care le bah.. haha
    transparent is good kai..i believe u.. cos ur scheme are easy to see. haha
    woah shah have a TOP student comment.. sorry shah i used to dun like u but got way better , then it is not fine again.. cos u are in different class.. sorry la, i not ruben..tsk ..malay food are nice!!

    why does Kurier der Verzweiflung always have to feel that ppl are shooting at, this is not to create another misunderstanding but u seems to be overprotective of kaijie..
    rushing to take an must be hurt deep down inside..dont worry, live for eternity..this life has lil meaning..

    By Anonymous zai, At 11:43 PM  

  • Hey, thanks for your comments and feedbacks. Haha.. i agree i used to be a hypocrite back then. But now, People changes and when i think back of those actions that i have doe. I really hope that i can reverse them. But it really requires alot of time. I have to formally apologise to you for that. I was ot Mr Nice Guy. But sometime, really, it's hard to control one temper. And i believe you should have known that im quite direct with my feelings. If i'm not happy, i will lash it out. Althoug i may complain, we are still a class and thus forgiveness is granted =) sorry bro for the impression that is given on you. My personality is tend to be a bit more sociable??? and talkative so if i let you think another way... I'm sorry. Haha... m y way of sociallising may not be acceptable to everyon so i hope you will see me as a changed person. A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE...haha... Thanks again.
    Let's drink the Srewdriver again.=)

    Best Rgards

    By Anonymous Shaun, At 1:21 AM  

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