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桜 & 恋

Thursday, May 31, 2007

MatA-KE !!!!!!!!

Ba! I’m down with a sneeze, ah-ChoO. I caught the cold during a heavy downpour while swimming. Instead of me taking cover, I sit by the pool (probably thinking I’m tough enough to endure the cold) gazing the blurry sky. I can really feel the chill piercing through my body (especially my tummy) but for some reasons I just don’t want to lift my butt and leave. Alas, I gave in when a strong gust engulf me that I quickly take shelter in the washroom. I was so cold that I even seek warm from the heater (you know those blow dryer). Now I’m down with a FLU (such a long time since I last sick). Well at least there 1 good thing I could think of running down with a FLU – that is you have those sexy and man-y voice =’= . . .

Think the Flu is getting over my head that I’m spurting all these craps~ Do think I’d to end my 102nd this way. Yup, forgot to mention my 100th post on previous 2 entry.

oh yea thse pic took at jurong island (thse baggy technician pa-ja-mas & all u can knock helmet not forgetting all u can kick steel-toe shoe!) thse were the days, and i need to get back to jurong island nxt wed for some attachment, but this time round is lab-based =/

1/06/07
jux had update frm wallace that attachment fall on 11 june actua;;y nt o4, so another 10 days =]]]]






Take care
Kai

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

1 litre of tears




1 Litre of tears is based on a real life experience of a young girl, Aya Kito, who fought a disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration when she was 15 years old, and was able to continue fighting until her death at the age of 25 years old. This cruel disease slowly disintegrates one’s daily ability to walk, to speak, dial a phone or in a way, consume 1 dream of tomorrow. This drama focuses more on the warmth/love that her family/friends pour on her rather then the tragedy she faced. She begun to keep a diary as a proof of her existence (1 of the last few things she could do). Her diary entitled ‘1 litre of tears’ encouraged many people, both healthy and sick, as she wrote "Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing." Basically it tells us how she lived her life positively, inspiring the people around her even though she know of her plight.

Review/ synopsis/ quotes/ * ...thoughts… *

Aya had just attended high school, joining the basketball team, a class representative, met up with the senpai (senior) she adored; and lots of ‘happening’ awaiting her to reveal. Just as she was beginning to enjoy high school life, Aya starts to encounter difficulties; she could neither hold on to her chopsticks, nor pour water into a cup without spillage and occasionally wobbled while walking.

Her life started to twist when she fell down unknowingly. She couldn’t protect herself with her hands and fell head first on the floor. After this her sickness is slowly revealed and her ‘tragedy’ began. . .

After knowing her condition (her parents had kept it from her for some times), she became afraid of the next day approaching, pondering if it will worsen. ‘I’m so scared of the passing time’, ‘why did the disease choose me?’ The cruelest fact about this disease is that it is incurable. Aya’s mom searched high and low desperately from books/doctors/internet that could possibly hold a cure but to no avail; it is only after some time when she calmed down and faced the truth about her daughter’s circumstance.

‘I want to return to the past’, ‘if weren’t for this disease I might be in love, I want to cling on to someone I love so badly’ Her senpai had apparently deserted her after knowing her state (burden) and also due to peer pressure perhaps. *Love built solely on admiration is not everlasting, true love knows no hindrance. Perhaps it is better for him to leave her earlier then later as after all, there was naught but mere admiration~*

In the later part of the show, she began to have difficulties in walking, she wobbled constantly. ‘Sis, you walk like a penguin’, ‘ka-waii ne?’ she replied (for most will be angered I guess)

In the show I was introduced to 1 of the laws in Japan - that the handicapped have this special pass to identify them as handicapped, for their ‘benefit’ like in a bus, passengers will automatically give their seats. *But I felt this is unnecessary, this pass is like labeling them as “special” or in a bad way, outcast; I mean you can easily identify a handicapped by looking at their disability, hence having a pass to show that you are handicapped is like redundant and should be ABOLISHED (but of course I don’t know the details of the law so cant say much*)~

Back in school, she needs help in climbing up the stairs, the class has to slow down as she can’t keep up with the lectures (she begun to have difficulties in writing at this point of time), in short trouble her classmates/teachers. ‘Sri’ became a common word. She finally broke off when she thought ‘oneself suffer is enough, why others?’ (her friends kept being late for classes, because of helping her up the stairs/toilets, etc).

She even landed herself in the hospital, due to lack of H2o (for the very reason of not wanting to trouble her pal). Her doc said something really true ‘’in the society no one can live w/o giving trouble to others’ - *Just as others live to help us, we also live to help others the same way, 2 way traffic that allow we human to be dependence on one another*

She had always been alone in class while others are having PE, and all this while there this guy Haruto who had always been her side to cheer her up, it seemed that this guy was giving her the moral support initially but ultimately is Aya-chan who had inspired him to live life positively (he was once a teenage with no aspiration, live each day lifelessly)

Soon later in the episode, she said ‘I’m not going to say ‘gomene’ anymore but treasure the word ‘arigatou’. ‘I’m not going to think of going back the day, but face each day today and live on’ * I thought, must we go through all this suffering in order to appreciate life as it is? I keep complaining about this very life I have, and Aya wrote just being alive is a beautiful thing. Having watched tons of inspirational drama, all never failed to inspire me but that spur of sprit is not lasting, but for Aya’s case I will try to squeeze that portion into my heart and for as long as I could remember*

From episode 6 onwards, people begin to pass comments, using look-down/belittle/despise upon stare on her, I don wana talk about the details. *Are those people sympathizing her or looking down on her? Empathizing her? Perhaps empathizing is not the word, as one need to be in her shoe to feel her difficulty.*

Actually I’d been holding back my tears till episode 6, when the climax (2nd sis, who’d always been indifferent, scolding the little brother for not standing up for Aya (after his friend belittle Aya)., ‘You know how strong Aya-sis been, always wearing a cheerful smile’, ‘you are worst then those who despised your sis’, her brother felt remorseful and regretted his selfish action. * The emotion felt here is so over-powering, that I just let loose my tears unknowingly*

Aya realized though there are despising stare, but there are those that are heart-warming, filled with love too. For Aya, changing of clothes take up to half an hour but that helps ‘me to appreciate the importance of time’ *how many times had I take time for granted? Taking it as something I deserved to have . . .*

‘‘Being sick is not a mishap but just inconvenient’, Aya wrote

Episode 8 is another part that made me weep – beyond my ability to pen down the emotion felt. Her ability to walk, even to just wobbled had seems impossible now, that she had to rely on wheelchair. She wrote ‘Even if you fell down, the heavenly blue sky is smiling at you, telling you to ‘get up’’. *for a patient who didn’t give in to a cruel disease and here I am giving up on things easily, giving myself excuses on the things I gave up*.

As expected, the drama goes on, her condition just worsen with no sign of recuperating and to a point that her speech is affected. Haruto said something really sweet and touching here ‘no matter how slow your speech is, it still’s beautiful’ if can t talk over the phone I come straight here and listen to you’

Here show the bond/ importance of family and friends in giving both spiritual/physical needs for someone in need. *Is a moving scene when the family tries to maintain a smile even though they knew Aya’s time is near.*

‘The things I could do, all fade away- even to the dialing of phone’ demo ‘I still can write’ ‘I can’t give up on my own body’ *this show the importance of human being to find a purpose in life, to proof your existence and such* writing became Aya’s goal for living.

‘Just as flower bloom one by one; yesterday is interconnected to today’ *what happen today is because of yesterday, hence spend every day fully without regret!*.

Even to near-death she still wana help others- donate her organs/ use her body as experiment to find the cure for Spinocerebellar Degeneration. Her diary post had encouraged those with the same disease to live on. She was glad that she had help others after all~

To end off, ‘ able to pass each day normally, is already a heart-felt/happy thing’

Post-death
Lots of people visited her grave, that scene is really touching, as she had succeeded in helping/inspiring others~


Kai
=’
Ps: this heart warming drama is definitely worth watching~

(ending theme for 1 litre of tears)

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Friday, May 25, 2007

batTLe OF e J-TiTAN-nEss



Note: no point reading this post; WELL most of pals who came here held no shyt about J-pop, =/

This just an amateur review of J-pop artists by kai, which is totally incomparable to others~

The poster read Japan had yet produced 4 possible J-pop queens and is up to the 4 to claim this title. So who will rule the new era of J-pop after the like of Ayumi, Utada & Boa etc. Well anyway the 4 candidates are (from left), kaela kimura, YUI (=]]), ayaka and the last 1 I can’t really figure; thought was Namie Tamaki??, or Namie Amuro, only later when I randomly select the possible names in 1 of the J-pop blogger page and after tally with the photos and realized that she was Yuna Ito. The paper gave them Chinese name so yea and I don remember J-pop singers by Chinese character thus had to go through all this trouble, plus i'm bad at remembering faces =,=. . .
Anyways

I chanced upon this page last Saturday on ‘My-paper’. When I flipped to this page and saw YUI, I was like wOO, ahHaa, Waa, just keep staring at her; ignoring the background artists. I knew YUI is really getting fame lately but never had I expect her to appear in local news; so yeah the thrilled I felt, =/ but they post 1 of those ‘older’ photos of YUI, from the album ‘LIFE’ I think, man they should show the ‘cuter’ side of YUI instead of the ‘cooler’ YUI but yea that my preference.

Let talk about what I know about each of those artists mentioned. . .




Kaela Kimura
Found her in 1 of those J-pop Blogger’s page and yea she caught my eye, because of the rather unique album cover ‘Scratch’- showing a dolly face with lots of junks on a piano, when I means junks are; a boots, a crystal ball, a skull, a toy elephant etc. . . and later I found out that she goes the ‘weirdo- style’ route, as in ‘uniquely’ hair-style, costume and make-up. Well that what made her stand out I guess. She was an ex-modal and thus no doubt most of her fans are from the middle age man =/

To say she attained her fame via her outlook isn’t fair as the music she made is really good. She got this really sweet/calming vocal with a mature touch in it. Oh yea funky is the word best describe her music and style. Her ‘magic music’ is really darn cool and additive, this song once on, you just don’t wana press the ‘next’ button.



YUI
Ah YUI, the first and only J-pop artist that really made me so crazy about. Get to know her from her debut movie ‘Taiyou no Uta, her chubby sweet innocent look really captivated me and her role naïve action, ‘I like banana’ when doing a self-intro to the guy she like; to this day still imbued in my head! But what really caught my attention is when she sang ‘good-bye days’, the emotion she put in, and her facial expression when trying to reach the high key just so dazzling~ and so I was enlisted into her endless flow of fans =]
Her sweet cum cute vocal accompanied with her ‘never-let-go’ guitar, these duo just make her stand-out. To add on she penned down her own lyric, compose her own tune, what more can u ask from a singer?


And she never put on heavy make-up, she present to the audience, she herself not mask by any artificial make-up, that what made her attractive to me. Her music has always been up-beats, cheery, and lately she shows her versatility in singing when she sang ‘how crazy’, with a rather deep and dark tone, totally stunned by that. Seriously I can write a whole darn page on her but to keep short yea?



Ayaka
Man when I first listen to her song ‘I believe’, that really deep, emotional powder-fully vocal of her made me think she must be in her late 20s, as I presumed only women of that age can reach that level of singing. And boy, was totally speechless when I discovered that she is just mere 18-19! Having said that she’s able to reach high pitch really well too, given her naturally deep vocal. Her vocal range is the best among the 4 I guess. watch her MV at youtube, that will treble the impact of her song 'I belive'!

Been downloading her songs lately and the music she made are mostly ballads type instead of J-pop, a different route from most of the J- artists, but still she doing exceptionally well, after-all her debut album reach 1B which double that of YUI 2nd album. Somehow I felt that her vocal kind of resemble Younha, and felt that she should be among the 4, even though she a Korean singing J-pop.
Oh yea, that local ‘shi-xin wei’ or literally 'stone-star-able' or whatever who replicated ayaka ‘I believe’ to Chinese version is like @#$$#@$#!@$@! Totally out of ayaka league!



Yuna Ito
Ah, unravel this gem after watching the movie ‘NANA’; though she was like the ‘cali- fare’ role, but when she sang ‘Endless Story’, man that moment I know I gonna dig up on this idol. I never thought that the last photo would be her until yea; much tally of photos of the possible name over here and there on the net! What made her stand out is the fact that she’s a mix of Hawaii cum Jap (so lucky), thus giving her that authentic angelic look and of course the advantage of pronouncing English correctly, unlike the other 3 who does mispronounce in their songs, especially YUI, LOL.


Conclusion

Given the fact that Ayaka does know how to compose lyric, tender age, stunning vocal, she sure held the biggest threat in attaining the new J-pop queen from YUI’S hand. The album sales do show that ayaka had the upper hand. No matter how great the other 3 artists may be; they just can’t have the pure innocent, crystal-like vocal of YUI that never failed to mesmerize me. On top of that, she wrote about 97% of the 50+ songs she had thus far, talk about talent.

When 1 or Kai in love with something the flaw is minimize, even to the fact of magnifying~


Well here the songs of the 4 artists which best identify them, I guess (to me) . . .



Take care
Kai
='

Thursday, May 17, 2007

BlabBeRiNG~

And yet again I did ‘that’, when I know I ought not to. . . sometime knowing certain facts made you feel ‘that’ way and acted ‘that’ particular way. Given the words we’d learnt such that we took advantage of the word like the word ‘that’ (right I don’t know what I’m blabbering here!)

Anyway what I’m trying to drive across is that with words, we can ‘play’ around with it making black become white; vice versa (NO LINK), words can mask oneself and at the same time revealed oneself and thus when in doubt of those ‘words’, base on your ‘feeling’ for better judgments. Having said so, human are emotional creature, and thus base on ‘feelings’ also leads us no way right? Classic conclusion: strike a balance between those 2; ‘words’ and ‘feelings’. . . right I getting nowhere now, was like WTH am I bull shyting all these =’=.. I SEE NO LINK WITH THE FIRST STATEMENT =’= . . . perhaps is the lack of sleep lately =/

And so tomorrow marks the end of CPTC training, and as usual looking back is kinda past so fast, but when looking forward that time is like so draggy~

.
did i mentioned bout i lost my goggles in CPTC on the last day onsite, grumble =@


ps;
was flipping through my discs when i found this cd containing songs i used to sing in church, kinda miss there, maybe i drop by soon, but is like 2 yrs since i last vist =/


Take care
Kai
Ciao~
=’

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

'if' ~

This song revolved round the word ‘if’. ‘If I could, this, that’ is a common quote in people these days, I meant what done is done, there no point whining ‘if I could only. . .’; more ever ‘if’ already means impossible, saying ‘if’ only made 1 feels more regretful, sinking deeper to remorseful , into regression. Bottom-line instead of ‘if’, why not just look ahead and see that as a lesson learnt, a steeping stone for future endeavor! Having said that, it is always easy to state a statement and ‘counsel’ others, but is always hard to ‘counsel’ oneself. The hardest person to seep into is you yourself! That is precisely why we need close friends, spouse, parent, brothers etc, in time of resentment.

Sometime we need something really bad to happen in order for a particular message to be sent across, and that’s me. To be frank, for me that kind of lesson learnt will just slip away in a matter of times~ goosH, ding, dang, gosh, baM, bish @______@


Well anyway, finally found YUI’s latest album lyric translation, was actually all the while in my ‘favorite page’ (never notice till lately =’=) I’m surprise that her songs now is kind of dark, sad and as usual impact-ful. Sometime people review their feelings through poetry, expression and for YUI is music, I think. For example in her ‘thank you my teens’, she wrote ‘Just singing
Turning any pain into a new song right away
Just by doing that, I was able to turn it into strength’
So how many ‘painful’ songs she wrote depicts how sad she is?
Anyway some ‘quotes’ from her songs that really are power pack! Just to list a few yea~
-in ‘why’ she wrote ‘Why do people have words?
They make our hearts harder to see’ (so words mask one trueself?)

-in ‘highway chance’ she wrote ‘It’s like getting on the highway from a loop road – that kind of image
You push forward, but the reality is
It’s lying in the palm of someone’s hand’. (O_O sound chim still trying to figure the link in highway with the palms of someone hand)

## @ such a tender age she's able to write stuffs like that, man if only i could pen down lyric like her, SEE I'M ALREADY WHINING 'IF' ~ but hey who know~

With that
Take care
Kai
Ciao~ =’

PS: DR jiang lee called and asked me go tp to sign some form for sip, after i signed, i realsied it was IMRE nt the 1 i was posted to at ICES, i was like JIAng LEE!!! and me of cousre for overlooknig e details, now she said i might be posted there instead but need to go for another interview, BUT i do prefer the 1 at ICES as i being dealing with more chemistry stuff rather then more enginering stuff at IMRE, worst case sceneraio= both also failed to get in , but whichever 1 i be posted to so be it, since both will start from 0 =/

Saturday, May 12, 2007

u seE no eVil~

Right and so 2 day shifts had long since passed and tomorrow will be my last day of shift training at CPTC @ #$#@$ Jurong Island (may be there again should my interview succeed, you know for the ‘real’ attachment), no matter how #$#$#@ Jurong island maybe but I still wish I’ll be working there for the environment kinda suit me, those lab testing etc.

Friday I may seem a bit ‘DAO’ or indifferent, as I was shag. When I’m shag, I’ll be switch off, ignoring people even if you smiling at me- chain reaction you can say. So pls held no misunderstand against me if there’s any, yea? Toss me a chocolate, I’ll be switch on again =/

My bro now pestering now to use the computer as it had long since pass my ;usage time; so that is that~

Kai
Take care
Ciao~
='

Monday, May 07, 2007

tWinKLe LIttlE sTars WOnder WONDer

Somehow I felt looking at stars can really soothe my soul; a sense of tranquility and peace within.

I was crossing the over-head bridge, when I notice about 8 stars glittering over the night sky. I was caught by the view that I stand motionless and stare at them for like 10 seconds (I was like woah, and I just felt so re-charge and high like a new Dura-cell battery used in the pink rabbit; you know that old commercial . . . more stars begin to appear right in front of me after the 10secs stare.

Tilting my head upwards and continue walking, the stars like out of the blue ‘disappear’ when I pass a street lamp (it was then i recalled I’d read somewhere that our retina will adapt to the dark when exposed to it for a period of time and thus able to see ‘clearer’ in dim sky; but once exposed to bright light, the ‘adaptation’ is reset and hence the star appeared to be ‘vanishing’). Interesting yea? And and, 1 can differentiate stars from planet by whether it flicker or not, a star will flicker but not planet.
Sigh, light pollution over here in Singapore just made it harder to spot those dazzling diamond.

Really had this urge to have a super-duper mega pixel camera to take picture of those stars, a telescope to view them, a ‘star directory’, in short pick up star gazing as a hobby? But time time time. . . and $$$ for those accessories. . . or perhaps is just another of kai’s ‘3 mins of passion’ (those Chinese proverb) =,=

Right anyway when I reached down, I noticed this snail on the pavement, thinking someone may squash it and for some other unknown reasons I pick him out and place it on the grass patch (NOTE: this is not something I would do usually), was baffled on my own actions afterwards. . . reach home was like so chirpy instead of the usual tired, gloomy gesture. Is it those wonder of the stars?

Perhaps just perhaps, maybe someone can come out with this starry-therapy since there are dolphins, music, even horses therapy outta there, why not stars I thought =/

Gazing them and see who spot a particular stars with some one special will be lovely too=]]


Take care
Kai
Ciao~


This song revolved round the word ‘if’. ‘If I could, this, that’ is a common quote in people these days, I meant what done is done, there no point whining ‘if I could only. . .’; more ever ‘if’ already means impossible, saying ‘if’ only made 1 feels more regretful, sinking deeper to remorseful , into regression. Bottom-line instead of ‘if’, why not just look ahead and see that as a lesson learnt, a steeping stone for future endeavor! Having said that, it is always easy to state a statement and ‘counsel’ others, but is always hard to ‘counsel’ oneself. The hardest person to seep into is you yourself! That is precisely why we need close friends, spouse, parent, brothers etc, in time of resentment.

Sometime we need something really bad to happen in order for a particular message to be sent across, and that’s me. To be frank that kind of lesson learnt will just slip away in a matter of times~ goosH, ding, dang, gosh, baM, bish @______@


Well anyway, finally found YUI’s latest album lyric translation, was actually all the while in my ‘favorite page’ (never notice till lately =’=) I’m surprise that her songs now is kind of dark, sad and as usual impact-ful. Sometime people review their feelings through poetry, expression and for YUI is music, I think. For example in her ‘thank you my teens’, she wrote ‘Just singing
Turning any pain into a new song right away
Just by doing that, I was able to turn it into strength’
So how many ‘painful’ songs she wrote depicts how sad she is?
Anyway some ‘quotes’ from her songs that really is power pack! Just to list a few yea~
-in ‘why’ she wrote ‘Why do people have words?
They make our hearts harder to see’
-in ‘highway chance’ she wrote ‘It’s like getting on the highway from a loop road – that kind of image
You push forward, but the reality is
It’s lying in the palm of someone’s hand’.

With that
Take care
Kai
Ciao~ =’

Sunday, May 06, 2007

siGN

Man just when I wana transfer songs to my new mp3 player that uncle had bought for me, when I realized I’d to install this disc to run the program in transferring songs to mp3 via com; do think that my disc driver gone ko-yat at the same time, aRGGGGGGGG!! So now this new mp3 only serve the FM radio mode atm, so I used the old 1 till then. . .sign, when I got so excited in transferring tons of songs then . . . @___________________@


lips of an angel by HINDER
this song rocK when i first listen to it, after 'reciting' the lyric kinda sad though~ 'It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet'


with tt
kai
ciao ='

Thursday, May 03, 2007

LAst MaN STaNdING

Do think that 1 particular industry caught fire over at Jurong Island this morning and today we are doing fire-fighting there. Man really had a bad experience. I was the nozzle man in 1 of the trail run, and there were like 8 men and woman behind me. When engaging the ‘fire source’, someone drop the ‘hose body’, and thus a domino effect, men behind me also let go leaving me ALONE with the nozzle charging at 14 barg, with that pressure I kind of give way too and lost balance when the trainer come to the ‘rescue’. It was only when the water stopped that I had realized that my helmet had ‘flown away’ and my vision kinda blur as my contact lens had ‘roll’ all the way up. . . cant imagine what would have happen if not armed with goggles. At the end of the day, all were wet. . . that was that~ i went back home with wet under garment leaving marking on bus seat and many other places. reach home with butt itching like mad =,= did i said that the water tasted like iron rust ?

Man my eye bags are getting more soggy and thicker as each day passed by, had to KO early I guess~

Take care
Kai
ciaO~